Totally sucks & down

WTF....I really hate myself..

Y i so stupid..naive..to him..my father..

Oh man..my mood totally down and sad..

Feel like crying...every words u told u me..

It is stabbing my heart badly..stepping on my dream hardly..

I also don't know why!!!Why would I so stupid not ambitious..

I really really LOVE animals..I really really love..i admit..i never deny..

Especially cat

everyone has a dream...and now..for me.never think before what is the ambition i like the most

I finally make up my mind...I wanna be a veterinarian for real..

I really searched the website about the information very very hardworking..

The results unsatisfied me..Only UPM has the best..others college seems like doesn't offer veterinarian to study in Malaysia

The results make my heart break..Because mom say if really wan study veterinarian,better choose college..

I cry also at that time..because i was stress out..when I found out it totally sucks!

Malaysia REALLY REALLY don't pay a lot attention to veterinarian

At Late night 4.25am..

Crying alone here..sigh..for me..I rarely cry..the one who knows me will know..

I'm sad..Why i chose science stream..i chose because there are more option

i chose because I might get interested in science stream

And it does prove that I like science stream!!

without science stream..I wouldn't know my friends that well..

Without entering science stream,I wouldn't know 4 & 5 teratai is so FUN!!

We are not like most of the science stream which MOSTLY nerd..

I love my teachers..i love my friends...I love my life together with them

You always tell me to be a doctor..You always say doctor earns a lot

I know..In this world,everyone sick will find doctor and consume medicine

I know..If you're a surgeon for human..It can earns a lot..even many many thousands

I know..you are think for my own good...You scare I won't earn enough money for myself

I know..you love me..I know you facing the cruel world that we can't survive without money

I know..I know..I REALLY KNOW!!

For my interest..

I really hope that i can be a veterinarian..Why can't you support me?

I know it's hard from the start..Because in Malaysia not everyone will purposely find the veterinarian just for their pets..

Our economy is not that good..I know..I know..
All the cost will just rise..It won't drop..That's the REALITY

I finish my SPM...I'll face the reality of world soon..

Before asking you..I ask him..he loves everyone..especially her "daughter"

He really support me..and even suggest me to do dentist..

Don't know why..I feel appreciate and happy..

Because...at last..at last someone is supporting me..

But..why you..do this to me..

Do you know that when u explaining to me..I laying on your back..listen to you..

Actually..my tears drop...without control..

I used my strength within my heart..trying to argue with you..

telling you..I wanna open a way..

There are few people involving in this field in Malaysia,that's the chance for me to make business!!It's less competitive...So,maybe I could chase my dream..Earn money..

TTC's boss..Lim You Tian...he also suggest we all to choose the path we like..

So that at the end we won't regret,we won't unhappy with our job,so that we won't be too late at the end to change our occupation!

At this moment,4.40am..

I'm exhausted..cold..heart break..

I feel much more better now expressing my feelings and thought with this blog..

exposing to anyone who interested to read my blog..

Actually it's not a shame to cry..It's just the easiest way to release your stress and feeling..

I will just continue..my life..my way..Maybe..I'll change my mind..give up to study veterinarian...

I don't know..my heart is confusing..my mind is empty now..

I hope..my heart will recover soon..After a sleep..Maybe it will be much more better..

nights...

Moody..frustratin....

ARHHH...sucks la wei...these few days..

once i hv the heart to buy stuff..I feel so damn hurt..

Something happened..feel so down..I really hate s0meone tat is useless!!!

Wat i mean by useless is ask for money,sympathy but him or herself do NOTHING at ALL!!

How old are u?!!Aren't u found a job..Aren't ur life is more steady?!!

Y u still keep on ask for money when u dun hv?!!!

I know you are nt a big spender..Bt could u stop mixing around wif the 1 WHO ARE BAD?!!

WTF..if dun hv money,DUN HELP LA!!Y must u pretend to be like the HERO?!!

They duno tat u borrow money!!! They are FILTHY!! GET AWAY FROM THEM!!!

Do u noe that the money i kept really really HARD?!!!

FOR A BIG SPENDER LIKE ME

I FEEL Like KILLING U!!!THE ONE WHO KNOWS ME..THEY KNOW I'M BAD TEMPERED

IF NT BECOZ OF HER!!I WON'T BORROW U $$

IT'S NT FEW RINGGIT!!

IT'S TOTALLY MORE THAN TAT 100 TIMES!!!

I LOVE HER,I RESPECT HER..I ONLY TRY TO HELP HER!!

I REALLY SCARE TAT I CAN'T GET THE MONEY BACK...

NOW I'M REGRET..

I SHOULD BE A BAD GIRL!!I SHOULDN'T HELP HER!!

SOME MORE SHE LOVES BRO MORE..WHAT FOR I HELP HER?!!

WHAT CAN I GET N EXPECT FROM HER?!!

SO DISSAPOINTED..ONCE I C BOTH OF U GT TOGETHER..

MY HEART STARTS TO BURN..FEELING KICKING U ALL...PUNCHING U ALL..

TORTURE U ALL...TEAR IN TO PIECES!!!!!!!!

I'M SO WICKED..I ADMIT!!

NOWADAYS THE STUPID RELATIVES STAY SOME MORE FOR 2 WEEKS!!!

STILL DUN WAN TO GO AWAY..FUCK U!!!

DON'T FORCE I SCOLD IN FRONT OF U ALL..EVEN RELATIVES HERE..

NT ONLY IN FRONT CHILDREN!!!I'LL YELL AT U ALL TAT I HATE U ALL COME HERE!!!

=O=!!!!!!IF TMR...U MAKE ME ANGRY ONCE MORE...I'LL TELL U KIDS!!!

I HATE U ALL!!!STAYING HERE!!!!!USING THE AIR COND LIKE UR OWN HOUSE!!

U WANNA VISIT GRANDPARENTS AS A REASON!!!?!!

OK!!fINE!!!I LET U TAKE AWAY GRANDPARENTS N TAKE HOME!!

DON'T U DARE?!!!PISS OFF!!!SUCH A LAME REASON!!!

...............HOW...GETTING MORE N MORE FEEL LIKE SLAPPING THEM....

I SHOULD PUT SOME WATER...TO EXTINGUISH MY FIRE..

-.-.|.